" 'I don't know' is all we have left to say.
How do we pick ourselves up now
when the clouds bring the rain
before we evaporate?
I'll never be able to say..."

I love that song.

So next week. On the last night of the play, at the cast party, if all goes as planned (which it Never does), my parents will meet him. I'm nervous and scared as fuck. I don't even think he realizes how scared I am. I don't think anyone does, except Christina. Do I like lying? No. But...I don't think they can handle the truth.



I miss those late night calls. I miss feeling pretty and special.


Maybe it's because I'm on my period haha. I just started today. I really don't know. I feel tired and empty. It's so cold in this room right now.



On my birthday, my hair was all curled and done nicely and I had on the perfect dress and it felt great. I felt equal to them all.

The other day I went into a room where people I liked and who liked me commented on my body figure (or lackeof) and it made me feel bad. It shouldn't have because I don't think they meant to hurt my feelings.
My self-confidence is terrible.

I made all A's on my report card.
I'm going to show them it next week. And I'm going to sit them down and look them in the eye and say

Look, I know you said I can't date because it would interfere with my education. But I don't think it will. Look, I'm an A student. I work hard. And you've raised my well enough to know I won't do something like get pregnant. But honestly, American people let their kids date and they turn out fine. I don't see why they give their kids more freedom than you give me. A lot of those kids drink and party and don't care about their parents. I don't do any of those things. I'm responsible and I can keep my grades up. And I really like this boy.

Maybe not exactly that, but close enough.

When I read my old IMs, it makes me sigh.

Hmm. I dont know why I havent updated as much as I should.

Slow internet lolol.

Errbody should come see "The Dining Room" on November 18th and 19th.

Gosh I hope we don't have a game over Thanksgiving! Or I'm not going :/ sowwy.